It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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