Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
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he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
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It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy