mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm getting married
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.