am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
