ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
