This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize