im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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