i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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