yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
