Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
