I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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