Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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