Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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