i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
dude. I can hear the air.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
