People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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