Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
