this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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