I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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