My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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