he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
