whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
