how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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