I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
