Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
