his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
