Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
