Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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