Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
there is puke in my bra ... again
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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