So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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