she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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