final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
