the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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