Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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