Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
