Yo dont text me then not text me
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
