Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
areolas are like halos for boobs.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
