3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's shark week go big or go home
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
