im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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