just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
