this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
