and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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