I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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