What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
