No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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