My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
