There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
