____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize