So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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