Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
