so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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