im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
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No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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