we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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