Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
