did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
