Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
All I want is dick and wine.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
