And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
