gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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