Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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