Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
