what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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