i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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