Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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