is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize