Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
why do cheetos always look like penises
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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