Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
