I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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